It took me a while to learn how to embrace myself. How to embrace my inner beauty and how to truly love myself. I am approaching my 28 birthday and as you know I have reflect about how I’ve grown in the last year.
This year I learned three things about myself that I had to work on: control, over planning and comparing myself to others.
I have a type A personality. I like things a certain way and if things aren’t the way I planned then I freak out. I feel the need to control the situation. I learned that I cannot control what others do but I can control how I respond to them. If I change how I view the situation then the perception of the situation will change.
I am a planner. I am very organized. I use the calendar app on my phone for events, meetings and reminders for things I need to get done. This past year that got overwhelming for me. I couldn’t keep up with everything I had to do. My plans became unrealistic for me. All of the planning was making me anxious and making me feel sick. So much that I developed a stomach ache from it. I learned to take a step back. Stop planning events and meetings on top of one another. I need to give myself space to clear my head. I was so caught up on planning my future that I forgot how to live in the present. I had to restructure how I went about my day; well my life really. I had to take a deep breath to analyze my calendar. Life is too short for me not enjoy it with people I love and enjoy life.
Comparing myself to others
Who doesn’t compare themselves to others? A little comparison can be a good motivator to get things done. I found myself comparing my life to celebrities I follow on Instagram and Snapchat. Being envious of their life. Wanting to walk in their shoes. Sighs. Why I am doing this? My life is great. I am good where I am in life. I am where I am supposed to be. There is only one of that person. I cannot be like them. I need to be me. There is only one of me. There is just one Cynthia.
I have out grown my former blog name, LiteraC. She represented an insecure woman who was still trying figure out who she was. I know who I am now and I couldn’t be more proud. There is just one Cynthia and I’m okay with that.