Ladies, have you ever found yourself in a relationship that is going no where? Like you’ve been talking to this someone for a months now and still nothing? I have been there. Looking back at the past I need to analyze the reason why it is going nowhere. Ladies, we need to ask ourselves, did we built a strong foundation for our relationship? A relationship is like building a house, you can’t built a nice strong house on rocky foundation, the house will fall apart.
Read my blog post, 5 traits we women have but won’t admit
There are 5 things that women do wrong when establishing relationship with a potential significant other.
1. Define the Relationship (DTR)
The goal of the relationship should be established in the beginning. Could you imagine a construction worker building a house with no blueprint? No guide? Talk about disaster. The purpose of establishing a goal is ensure that you are both on the same page. Like the goal of this relationship is to remain as friends, eventually start dating, eventually become girlfriend and boyfriend, or even get married. And if you are not sure what you want out of the relationship then my advice is to reflect on the why you want to be in a relationship.
2. Make a list
Make a list of the all the personality traits you want in a man such as compassionate, emotional, driven and so on. Try to stay away from possessions that you want them to have such as a car or house because those are tangible items that can be gained or lost while you are with them. Once a list is made stick to it. If you meet someone who does not meet your standards on your list then you may want rethink if you should date them or not.
Transference is a phenomenon characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another. Ladies, not all guys are the same. Do not carry issues you have from a former relationship into your new one.
4. Sex can complicate things
I believe that sex is the most intimate form of expression between two people. I feel that sex can really complicate a relationship if you are not careful. Sex can make people feel attached to someone for days, weeks or even years after having sex with that person. That attachment, may be a reason that some find it hard to distinguish the true feelings they have with that person. Do you really like this person or do you just like the sex? I personally think it’s best to not in engage in sexual intimacy before marriage (call me old fashioned). Whatever you choose to do put thought into what is going on. Sex is a big deal.
5. Moving in together
I have heard my share of horror stories about couples moving in together. As women we have our own fantasies of how it will be moving with our man; all perfect. The reality is that it will not be perfect. Before moving in with each other have a conversation about your expectations on whose doing chores, whose cooking, how will finances be budgeted, etc. I personally believe that couples that move in together should be married first. I think it’s easier that way. Whatever your preference it’s important to have that dialogue.