Where the Wind Blows

When I was in high school my 12th grade English teacher asked me to write about where I see myself in ten years. I said that I planned to have my doctorate in psychology, married with two kids and own a home with a  dog. My ten year high school reunion is coming up and it forced  me to reflect on my life a little bit.Life doesn’t always go as planned.

I am a planner. I plan my entire schedule on the Google Calendar App on my phone. I have a daily to do list. I plan everything, I even plan my meals for the week in addition to the outfits I wear for the week. I have a plan and strategy for everything. So when life didn’t go the way I planned I got upset. I did not know how to handle myself.

It took me some time, but a few months ago I realized that I can’t live this way. I can’t live my life planning everything because then I miss out what is right in front of me, my present. There are things about my present that I cannot change because of decisions I have made in the past. I cannot live in the past nor can I live filled with regret. “It’s  not about what you go through, it’s who you become through it.” There are struggles in my life that I had to overcome, one being low self esteem, another being in severe financial debt, and having anger issues.

I have been through a lot in my life. One thing I learned is that I speak positively over myself. When I didn’t have enough money for gas, groceries, or whatever essentials I needed. I never said I was broke. I would say “I do not have it now but I will have it later”. It gave me something to believe in. That is how I overcame my issues, I told myself it would get better and it did.

My concept of life has definitely changed in the last 10 years. It has been such a blessing to wake up and to start a new day with opportunities to become a better me. I’ve come to terms about myself and where I am in life. Do I have plans for where I see myself in the next 10 years? Of course I do, but I’m happy going where the wind blows. I’m ready for whatever life has to throw at me.

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